Home is a sweet place for many, but for some, it is quite the opposite.
As I prepared to come back to Santiago in the middle of May, I posted a photo on Instagram with this caption:
"Home is where the heart is" is a saying that continues to gain importance in my life. For many years it was Apopka, Florida. For the last few it was Newberry College, and over the last 3 months it has been Santiago. This month or so back in the states, I’ve spent much needed time with my family, my lady, and my friends’ making memories and laughing plenty. I have shared the gospel and shared what God did the first 3 months in Santiago with different churches and with different people. I am excited for this last week or so here, but as May 18th approaches, my heart knows I am closer to going back to serve Christ and His people in my new home.”
My heart is in Santiago, Dominican Republic and the month of June only solidified that this is my new home. However, home doesn't always equal happiness. Home can also represent hurt, and helplessness.
The Happiness In June
June 1st
"Jhon Jhon" "Jhon Jhon" "Jhon Jhon". As I walked into the local school, we've been doing ministry in, the kids were chanting my name. A month without seeing them, and that's how they received me. I smiled, I blushed, and I teared up. The rest of the day consisted of games, exercise, laughs, and many hugs. We danced, we jumped, we did push-ups, and I lost at musical chairs. I dislike losing, but even the goat, Lebron James, loses here and there. When that day was over, I felt like the Lord was telling me "You are home again". Without Him, I could've never made it to this school to love on these kids. As I stood there, and looked around, I didn't want to move. All was right in my heart and in my world.
Why was I certain that I was home again?
Hugging those children feels like home.
Seeing them smile and tell you "We missed you" feels like home.
Hearing them chant your name because they are excited to spend time with you feels like home.
Hearing them say "I love when you come teach us" feels like home.
I was getting to share the love of Jesus to these kids.
Home is happiness.
June 12th
I woke up this morning with a heart filled with many emotions. In two or so hours, I would be standing at the alter sharing the gospel at one of the churches we are working in. I was excited. I was nervous. When the time came to bring the sermon, the Lord took control. The sermon flowed. I shared everything I had prepared, the church received it, we prayed to close the service, and we went home. My job was done. However, the sermon didn't end there. God wasn't done working when I spoke my last word. God was simply using me as a messenger to unfold what He had planned beyond just that day, or that sermon.
The next morning, I woke up, and I came over to the Davis's house to eat breakfast. As we prepared breakfast, Jamey looked at me and asked me "Did you hear what happened yesterday?". I responded "No, I didn't. What's up?" to which he responded, "Someone accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior yesterday after your sermon." We must've been having onions with our breakfast because once again, the eyes teared up. I just looked at him and smiled. God had done that. Glory to Him.
Romans 10: 9 - 10
Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.
I was emotional because a life accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
I was emotional because a life confessed with their mouth that they are a sinner, and that they wanted Jesus to transform them.
I was emotional because God allowed me to be a VERY small part of it.
Lost souls giving their life to the Lord is happiness.
The Helplessness In June
June 15th
I found myself back at the same school, but I was able to experience something new. After we had our fun like we always do, it was time for the students to be picked up to go home. As I was walking around, making sure we had cleaned everything up, a little one was crying hysterically, and was hitting anyone that would try to help. I walked towards him, and put my arms out, crying got louder. I tried again, and punches were thrown at my chest and arms. Eventually, I just went for it and picked him up.
Punches hitting my chest. Legs kicking to free himself. Crying got louder and louder, but I just held him. I kept telling him that it was all going to be okay. Eventually, he calmed down, put his arms around me, and fell asleep.
The teacher said that he always starts to cry when it is time to go home. Why is that?
Because maybe home isn't a happy place for him.
Maybe at home, instead of being picked up and loved, he is hit and neglected.
Maybe at home, mom and dad just fight throughout the day never having enough time for him.
Maybe at home, when he cries because he fears something, he isn't told that it's going to be okay.
Maybe at home, he can't express his feelings, so they pour out at school.
Maybe at home, he has no voice.
Home is helplessness.
As I drove home that afternoon, I thought about all the kids that I see every Sunday and love so much.
What is home for them?
What if home is abuse?
What if home is being malnourished and that's why they always ask for a snack?
What if home consist of absent parents who don't care about their children's education?
What if home is a place where their feelings and emotions don't matter?
What if their home isn't a home after all?
June 15th
Yes, I am very aware that it says June 15th again.
After I got home that afternoon, we continued with what was planned for that day. After we ate dinner, we were just sitting around chatting with one another. Suddenly, Elizabeth got a call from a dear friend of ours that we have been doing life with here. One of our other friends and sister in Christ had just lost her dad that night. A twenty-year-old women now having to navigate through life without her father.
We jumped in the car and headed to her home. When we got there, it was packed. Family and friends were gathered to mourn together. As someone who had only been in her life for six months, I didn't know what to say to her. I hugged her, I told her I loved her, and that I'd be there to support her in any way that I could.
As the night went on, more and more family came to see their loved one who had passed and to show their respect and support. Eventually, it was time to take her father's body to the ambulance, and I saw an image that I will never forget. Four men carried this lifeless body out in bedsheets, and you could hear the tears, the pain, and the screams of those in the room. In that moment, and in that home, everyone felt helpless. No words to say, and no abilities to take away the pain.
That home would never be the same.
This Home Is Only Temporary
Now that have you read what the month of June was like for me in my new home, you can now understand the title of this post. My new home brought so much happiness into my life during the month of June, but it also brought hurt and a feeling of helplessness.
I now ask you to look at your home, is it filled with happiness or is it filled with helplessness?
Is love celebrated in your home or rejected?
Did your parents' marriage flourish or die in your childhood home?
Did a family member or you battle an addiction that broke your home?
Was a good education celebrated in your home?
Were you heard or neglected in your home?
Regardless of what the answer is to all these questions, this home is only temporary.
My home here in Santiago is only temporary.
Why do I say that?
Because one day, we will all die.
However, there is ONE HOME that only brings happiness and that is forever.
No Hurt, No Helplessness, Never-Ending Love.
That home is the Kingdom of God in heaven.
One day, those who believe in the Lord, will have eternal life alongside Him.
Those who believe in the world will have a harsh, but just punishment.
Until that day comes, I challenge you to make your home here on Earth His church.
The word home can be defined as "dwell".
Dwell in the arms of Jesus every day.
Dwell in His Word.
Dwell in His presence.
That is a home of happiness.
Psalm 23: 6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Comentários